How often parents can’t put their child to school. And he seems to be doing everything on purpose so as not to start doing them. The adults are angry, the child is offended, but still does not. Why? The student has three reasons to behave this way.
First, children often do not like how we force them to learn, and even out of a sense of contradiction, they refuse to do exactly what we insist on.
Secondly, children get tired at school and do not have time to rest. If you count the time children spend at school and spend on assignments, sometimes it turns out that their working day is longer than that of an adult.
Thirdly, he is simply not interested in doing his homework. And no matter how we persuade him, no matter how we explain the need for knowledge, this is a really boring process, very often incomprehensible, and the child does not like it. The child loses strength while doing tasks. Trying to evade this, he unconsciously tries to protect himself from a work that does not give him joy, but takes away his strength.
Therefore, in order for the child to start doing homework with pleasure, we first need to solve three problems.
First task - not make him learn, but inspire, raise his motivation. Help the child to want to learn himself, to feel the need for this business, to understand what benefit the knowledge will give him, how he can apply it, how a competent person can help people. And then the child has a natural desire to learn, and besides, he begins to feel pleasure from the process itself.
Second task - carefully observe the child's condition and build a study regime in accordance with his activity. Even if we can get a tired child busy with lessons, it will still be of little use. It is better to start any business in a good mood, rested, then it will be easier to study.
The third task- to teach him to learn, so that the process of knowledge itself gives him pleasure, is easy and understandable and gives strength. This is exactly the problem that our schools are not able to solve, but you can solve it completely. And believe me, this is not as difficult as it seems at first glance. And we will definitely learn how to solve all these problems, since you are already a member of the "Talented Child" club. This club was created in order to help you and children, and all this will be in our future lessons.
And today we will talk about how to solve the very first problem, namely, to raise the child's motivation and self-esteem so that he himself wants to make a decision to study.
And we will do this with the help of questions.
- How does a conversation usually take place with a student who is not going to do his homework and is stalling until the evening, just to start later?
- What do the adults tell him? You have to study to get good grades. You have to learn, you have to listen. what adults tell you. You will not study, you will receive a punishment, or you will be deprived of something. If you get an A, you get a reward. Or another option. I have already spent all my strength on you, but you, stupid, still don’t study. Sit down now!
In general, there are not many options. And all of them are the most common manipulations.
Adults simply use their power to somehow get the child to listen to themselves, without thinking why the child is not listening. And he does not listen because it is not very clear to him and not very interesting. In addition, the child, who is often scolded, has very low self-esteem, and it even more prevents him from studying well.
Today, without long explanation, I will offer you another way to have a conversation with your child.
In this conversation, there will be no persuasion, insults, promises, lectures, punishments and rewards, but there will be questions.
And when you learn to conduct a conversation with the help of questions, the child will begin to listen to you with interest and will be more responsible in his business.
Why am I so sure? Because I know that no one likes it when conditions are dictated to him and forced to do something, and children are no exception. But everyone loves to make decisions for themselves and do what they want. The questions that I offer you just help the children to make their own decisions and start doing as they themselves decided. And we just need to skillfully direct their thoughts and help them make a deliberate decision, then the children will do everything themselves.
An adult who has mastered the skill of asking questions will always be able to skillfully lead the child to make a meaningful decision and at the same time raise the child's self-esteem. To make it easier to understand how the questions are asked, I have arranged them in a table. Of course, it is not easy to immediately learn to come up with appropriate questions for the situation. And we will definitely learn this.
But today you will at least see how many different options there can be to ask a question about studying, instead of grumbling once again: "How many times to tell you, it's time to do your homework!"
| The question is emotion | Question - proposal | Question - warning | Question - the game is a shape-shifter |
| I wonder if you're not tired of listening to the same thing? | Do you want me to help you do your homework? What is the hardest task for you to do | I wonder if your teacher will like it if you don’t do your homework? What will she feel? What do you think she can say? Will you like it? | I wonder how long you can hold out I can imagine how difficult it is for you. Your ears are wonderful. And with ears like that, pretend you can't hear! But you are a hero, anyway, don't give up. I’ll repeat ten times, but don’t do it anyway! I wonder if you can do it? |
| It must be hard for you to listen when I repeat this all the time. | Come on, let's pick the subject with which you would best start. Which is easier, or more difficult? | How do you feel if you get a deuce for lessons you haven't done? | If you were a mom and your son wasn’t doing his homework, what would you tell him? |
| Do you think I like to persuade you? What can be done so that I do not get tired, and you do your own thing? | Do you think it's better to start with me, or you can handle it yourself? | How do you explain to the teacher that you have not completed the assignment? And what will she answer you? | Let's play school. You will be a teacher and explain this task to me as if I were very young. Can you tell me clearly? |
| What do you think can be done to please the teacher! What will she be pleased with? Will she like it when the kids do all the assignments and know everything? |
How will you feel when you are an adult and it turns out that you cannot solve simple problems in the second grade? | If you were a teacher, how many exercises would you give the guys so that they will definitely learn how to solve these examples. Do you think one exercise is enough? | |
| I wonder if there was a superhero, it would be easy for them to start doing their homework or difficult? How long would it take you to make it? |
There is a teacher in the forestry school - a bear. How will he explain this problem to the bunnies so that they understand? | ||
| Question - hint | Question - challenge | Question - choice | Question - reflection |
| I remind you of the lessons, and you will not start in any way. Please tell me how can I tell you so that you still start making them? | I wonder if you can solve all the problems today in just twenty minutes? | Choice of two options. When is the best time for you to start your lessons, now or after your walk? After the walk you will be rested and it will be easier to practice. Just let's set the exact time when you start. Maybe set an alarm? |
Can you clearly explain to me why you should definitely start doing your homework late at night, when your head already wants to sleep? |
| I wonder how many problems you can solve today? | Choice of three options. When is it better for you to start, now or after, or maybe you will get up early tomorrow morning? |
How would you help me start doing my homework if I didn't want to do anything at all, but just wanted to walk? The same option with toys. How will the bunny explain to friends that it is time for them to do their homework? | |
| Maybe it's better to start not with math, which you do easily, but with Russian? Will you overcome a difficult task first, and then an easy one? | I wish I could make sure you really start on time. What will you do to make it really work? Are you sure you can do it? | The choice is given to the child. When is it better to start doing homework, now, in the afternoon, or can you suggest another option? |
Will you be able to solve big problems in life and help people if now you are afraid to start a business that seems difficult to you? Do you think it is easy to be a captain, astronaut, pilot, teacher, doctor? |
| Come on, we’ll come up with a task that you will have to fulfill in case you do not fulfill your promise. This is not a punishment, it is an incentive to be more attentive. The case must be thought up by the child himself, and it must be tangible and large. That is, the child decides in advance what he will have to fulfill if he does not fulfill the main promise. |
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For many parents, the most difficult thing in the school period is homework, because children need to be disciplined, put in their homework and spend their energy on it.
In this article, we've put together 5 tips to help you get your kids to do their homework.
1. Turning homework into a problem that needs to be solved, leaving the solution and the time for the solution to the child.
You set the boundaries, for example: “today we need to do the Russian language and mathematics lessons, the lessons must be done before 21:00” and delegate the task to the child.
You can sometimes remind him that there is this task, but you cannot narrow the boundaries, if you have already delegated the execution until 21:00, then you do not need to fly into the child's room at 18:00 and say - why are you not yet for lessons. He decides when to do them.
2. Allow yourself to choose the sequence of the lessons
Russian or mathematics, technology or English. The child himself can choose where to start. Perhaps he will start with simple lessons, perhaps the most difficult.
3. Make a schedule with your child
Schedule when the child is doing homework and just remind him that it's time to do his homework. It is important that the schedule should be regular.
4. Come up with a ritual before homework,
An event that will set him up for lessons (for example, a song or a game "Fly in a cube")
Here in this video we have collected several rituals that will help you
5. Use a special place that is used only for homework.
It is desirable that in this place the child was completely disconnected from external stimuli (TV, radio, computer, brothers and sisters)
Well, and the most important rule is that all actions above must be regular and repeated.
If the child has a schedule for homework, a special place in which he only does homework, a ritual before lessons and the understanding that the task needs to be completed - sitting down at homework will no longer be a problem
Problems begin after, when the child does not understand the topic or does not understand the task, is afraid to make a mistake or do it differently, as the teacher says and when the mother explains “not the way we were taught at school”
How easy it is to solve these problems, as well as what we are using now, being in family school and what tricks we have come up with with children, we will talk this Thursday at a meeting
On it you will learn
- The easiest way to easily seat a child for lessons
- A simple technique to motivate children to learn
- Effective exercises with which the child will write beautifully and quickly
- Effective teaching techniques that make schooling easier by several times
- Practical techniques for helping children in school subjects
This problem is familiar to mothers and fathers of most schoolchildren. The child categorically refuses to do his homework, he is ready to free the world from aliens, to conquer the summit of Everest or decompose a molecule into atoms, but not with lessons ?! You call him for his textbooks, and he rubs his eyes and sighs ?! You are looking in the diary, and there is no homework for several weeks in a row ?! How fast do children run to play at the computer or watch TV, and how long does it take to get them to sit down to write just a few exercises ?! But homework is necessary to consolidate the material learned, its implementation should contribute to the assimilation of new information. I will say this, I do not know the magic formula by which a child would run unquestioningly to do homework. But thanks to some secrets, I manage to get my niece to do her homework very quickly, without screaming or indignation.
1. It all starts from childhood
I want to make a short introduction and start with the fact that the love of knowledge should be instilled in a child from a very young age. When children are still babies, they are interested in everything, they ask a million questions, and they constantly study the world. The task of parents is not to miss the moment and help them in this. How often can you see a picture on the street, when a child walks, asks mom something, and mom is busy talking with a friend. One question, the second, the third ... And then the child himself loses interest in asking, because he never gets answers. Why then do mothers expect that already at school age the child needs her help and advice? Where does the child have a desire to experiment if the sea of information at one time passed by him. Therefore, do not be lazy, do not consider this a pointless waste of time, talk more with the children, then it will be much easier to explain to the child the importance of doing homework.
2. Eliminate all distractions
In any case, you need to try to understand why the child does not want to sit down for lessons from day to day. There can be many reasons. It can be some kind of hobby that completely absorbed the child, some kind of computer game or TV series, meeting with friends. Or maybe the child does not master the school material well, and homework is another torture for him. Knowing the reason is much easier to look for solutions to the problem. If the reason is only for entertainment, then boldly set a condition - first work, then rest, and not vice versa. If it's about academic performance, then you need to help your child somehow keep up with the program, explain everything in great detail. Do not forget about patience, hence the following advice follows ...
3. React to failure with a smile.
What do we do when the child fails to do something? Let's explain again. And if the child does not succeed even for the fifth time? As a rule, we freak out and scream. Fear is not the best motivator and helper. Try to react with a smile! A wide, sincere smile! This will cheer up not only you, but also give strength to the child. Always put yourself in the shoes of your "dull" child. Do you want your boss to shout at you at work just for not understanding something? Or you would have had much more enthusiasm and desire to work if your boss smiled and said: "It's not scary, but you have to fix it!" So the child is always waiting for approval, even when he realizes that he is still failing.
4. Give your child a choice
Remember, your child is, albeit not quite an adult, but a very reasonable person, with his own inner world and his desires. Do not stand over the child as a vulture until he does all the homework, give him the opportunity at least sometimes to choose for himself. Don't make your homework the center of the universe, the planet won't stop without it. If your child does not want to do homework today, do not force it. Talk, discuss the consequences, but don't force. Naturally, all responsibility for poor grades should fall on the child and he must clearly understand this. But if a child is ready to sit for a week without a TV or computer or not to walk in the evenings with friends, just not to do his homework today, then maybe he is simply tired. Think for yourself, the first half of the day is school, with a rigorous assessment of each subject, but that there is each subject, each word! You come home and what is there? And there, in the afternoon, again lessons, explanations of why there is such a score, and not higher. Everyone went through this, you say ?! Yes, and our children will pass, but sometimes we also needed an unplanned rest.
5. Try to do your homework on the same schedule.
This simple rule will help you develop an internal habit. It happens that all week we wake up at seven in the morning, and on weekends we plan to sleep a little longer. However, we cannot do this, the body resists and tells us to get out of bed at the usual seven o'clock. So with the lessons, doing them in the same time interval, the child will develop a habit. His subconscious mind will look for itself exactly the occupation that it is used to doing for a certain period of time. Agree, a simple trick, but it works, it has been tested on my niece, a nimble and restless girl.
Until recently, your newborn baby was just beginning to open his eyes and was looking at his crib with surprise. But time flies, and now he is interested in seeing everything that happens in the world around him. Parents try to show the baby as much of everything interesting as possible, carry it in their arms, and begin to think about when it is possible to allow the child to sit on its own. All this is enhanced by the presence of all kinds of chairs, armchairs, rocking chairs and slings at home, which you so want to experience.
In the meantime, the question of when to plant the baby is very important, because the baby's body, bones and muscles are not yet strong enough, and any wrong movements can cause injury. And since the baby still does not know how to speak, he will not let you know that he is feeling pain or discomfort.
When to start planting your baby
Usually, babies themselves begin to actively try to sit down as early as 4-5 months. It is believed that the baby's muscles are ready to keep his body in a sitting position at the age of six months. Therefore, all pediatricians strongly recommend that parents not try to plant a baby earlier than 5-6 months. And the best thing is to wait for the child to sit down on his own. It will roll, rise and fall, cling to the side of the crib with its handles and push off the floor, in general, do everything possible to sit down. And at this time, his muscles will train, and become strong enough for such a sitting to be safe for the baby.
Why it is impossible to plant a child early
If the parents themselves begin to plant the child without any preliminary preparation, his weak skeleton, especially the spine, may not be able to cope with the load, and the connections between the vertebrae may be disrupted. Such a spinal injury is dangerous with possible consequences in the future. At an older age, a child may develop scoliosis.
Placing a girl in too early can lead to a curvature of the pelvic bones, and in childbearing age the girl will have a problem with the difficulty of natural childbirth. In addition, many doctors argue that the early disembarkation of girls leads to the appearance of a bend of the uterus and other pathologies, up to infertility. Many parents, not trusting Russian doctors, take the American system as an example, when children are imprisoned almost from the very birth. But if there is even the slightest chance of injury, it is not worth the risk. And it's better to wait up to six months.
How to properly plant a child
Now that we have decided on what time to plant the child, we need to remind you of all the devices that cannot be used until this age. After all, a child can sit not only on the floor. For example, a children's table, a baby sitter. Although its backrest is adjustable, you shouldn't use it for up to six months. The same goes for a child seat in a car. If you need to ride with your baby, hold him in your arms in a prone position.
Up to six months it is not recommended to use a baby bag "kangaroo", as in it the baby takes a position that is dangerous for the fragile spine. Even if you carry a child up to six months in your arms, try not to take him under the butt. Better to press his back to your stomach, and let the head put on your chest.
At this time, while independent sitting of the child is dangerous, you need to do a set of exercises daily that develop the musculoskeletal system and prepare the child's muscles. Massage and gymnastics are very useful for newborns. In addition, when the baby is lying on a soft surface, you can give him your fingers so that he grabs them and gently pulls him up, lifting the head from the surface. You can pull until the baby himself throws his hands and falls back on the back.
When the baby is gaining weight, but it is still impossible to plant it, it is difficult for mom. Because it is not easy to cope with an active child who is interested in everything and at the same time weighs 8-9 kg. But you just have to wait a bit, and you will already be able to place your child without any fears.
The appearance of a child in a family is always a great joy, but also a great responsibility. Now you need to closely monitor the stages of his development and help the baby in all his attempts to go through these stages. Here you need to listen not only to your own feelings, advice from relatives and special aids, but also to the opinion of your pediatrician. It is this person who will reliably tell you about all the nuances and reassure you if your child deviates slightly from these nuances.
Sooner or later, each parent has a question about at what age it is best to start sitting down the child, and how to do this as a rule, so that your actions do not harm the baby. After all, the bones and muscles of young children are not at all strong and are easily injured.
Optimal age
The first and most logical question arises about the age at which the child already needs to sit. This means that the bones and muscles are strong enough to support the baby's weight and not overload. Here we are talking about the muscles of the abdomen and chest and strengthening the bones of the back - it is they who perform the main function of keeping the body in an upright position.
By the age of six months, these muscles and bones are usually properly formed, so the child, sitting down, does not experience discomfort and heaviness in the body. This is the optimal age to start teaching your little one to sit on their own.
But there are exceptions to every rule:
- Boys can begin to sit down even from four months, especially if he himself takes the initiative: he grabs your fingers with his hands and pulls up or raises his legs and body, trying to sit down on his own.
- Girls are not recommended to be planted for up to six months due to the structural features of the body. Earlier sitting down of a girl can turn into big problems in adult life, for example, a bend of the uterus, which can adversely affect childbirth.
Mistakes not to be made
Very often, after listening to the advice of good friends who do not have a medical education, parents make gross mistakes in teaching their child to sit on their own. Below is what you DO NOT need to do when teaching your toddler to sit down.
- Place a bunch of pillows around him or sit him back on a pillow. The child must sit SELF. The presence of soft support only relaxes the muscles and ligaments, which, on the contrary, must actively work and train. Let the baby learn longer without support, but his muscles and bones will get stronger for sure, which in the future will help to avoid problems with posture.
- Use some kind of support. Forget about this word altogether if you want to teach your child to sit. You can only help him in pulling up - this trains the abdominal muscles, but never sit the child, for example, at the side of the crib - this will again lead to dysfunction of those muscle groups that should be actively working.
Usually, by the age of seven months, the child can sit quietly by himself, without using your help and, even more so, support. If the baby is tired, he will simply lie on his back or stomach and continue his work.
To be honest, your pediatrician should provide you with a list of general strengthening exercises at a scheduled examination in six months. Usually it is on it that the doctor is interested in whether the child is sitting on his own. If, in response, he hears that the baby is not even making attempts to break away from a flat surface, then he will certainly show you what exercises you should do so that the child begins to rise to a sitting position.
At the next examination, you will hear the same question, and if there is no progress, then you will be referred for an additional examination to a neurologist and orthopedist in order to exclude possible pathologies of the nervous system, muscles and skeleton.
If no diseases are found, then you will be strongly advised to pay more attention to exercise, it may be worthwhile to conduct a course of massage and physiotherapy exercises. All this strengthens the muscles and bones of the baby.
Here are some exercises for your child's daily workout:
- You help the baby to get up from the supine position by holding his palms. This should be done very gently, keeping in mind the fragility of the baby. You can start 3-4 times so that the child does not get tired unnecessarily. Over time, the number of approaches can be increased.
- Offer your child your fingers. He must grab them and pull himself up. For a start, it will be good to give the child both hands, but over time, offer only one, the other holding the baby's legs under the knees. IMPORTANT: do not pull the child directly towards you, leave your hands in a motionless position, be sure to give him the opportunity to raise his torso himself.
- Teach your baby to balance in space. To do this, sit it on a flat surface without the possibility of resting on anything. In this position, you fix his legs with one hand, and hold his palm with the other. Smoothly guide his torso in a circle, letting the baby feel the empty space around him. For this exercise, it is permissible to put soft, springy pillows around for hedging.
- If you are going to buy an arena, then take the one that has large cells. A child placed in it will have a good opportunity to pull up on its own, clinging to these very cells.
General strengthening exercises
It is not only active activities that contribute to the speedy teaching of your little one to independent sitting. It must be remembered that you need to strengthen the muscles and bones of the baby in every sense of the word.
- Help your child roll from belly to back and back. In the process, you can use your baby's favorite toys to interest him: he will reach for the rattle and, accordingly, actively move.
- Place the baby on your lap and place your hands in front of him so that he can hold on to them. Don't let your child lean on you (at least until he gets tired himself), let him learn to balance. To keep your child calm and not capricious, you can also distract him with toys or rhymes like "Over the bumps, over the bumps."
It is worth noting that often the wants of the baby are ahead of the expectations of adults. As the child grows, his physical activity also grows, and as a result, he himself will begin to make attempts to sit down. As a rule, an innate craving for knowledge of the world around and independence excludes parental help: a curious and already active baby teaches himself to sit. But if by six to seven months the child does not show the proper enthusiasm, and following the doctor's instructions does not bring a positive result, you should think about going through a thorough examination with the baby.
Possible diagnoses that the examination can show you:
- hidden (possibly prenatal or birth) trauma;
- skeletal anomalies;
- muscle dystrophy;
- rickets;
- hypertonicity of the lower extremities;
- excess weight.
Don't panic when you hear this from your doctor. All this can be treated in the conditions of modern technologies, and you can fight it.
If the examination showed nothing of the kind, then you should calm down and not push your child to the generally accepted concepts. Perhaps he will learn to crawl faster than he will learn to sit. After all, there are exceptions to every rule. In this situation, do not force events, you can harm: only help, attention and care!
Carefully!
Never forget about safety precautions: it is even in such a case. A fragile baby is in your hands, any careless movement can seriously harm him.
- You cannot start planting a child if he is not ready for this and does not make attempts to tear his back and legs off a flat surface.
- You cannot use additional support, be it the headboard, pillows or soft bolsters, which are supposedly made for this. The child must be able to orientate himself and balance in space, his muscles must work actively! Otherwise, it will result in problems with posture.
- If you have been diagnosed with hypertonicity, be sure to treat it! A kid with such a disease sits incorrectly: rests on the buttocks and heels, and the spine is bent incorrectly. This will also lead to back problems.
- Don't worry if your baby cries while trying to sit up from a standing position. This is obviously more difficult, he will cope with it by the year. If this does not happen, then take the baby to the doctor.
- A child who cannot sit can be rolled in a stroller with a rigid backrest, which reclines to a “reclining” position. The walk should not last longer than an hour. Also, such a child can be put in a kangaroo, but, again, no longer than an hour.
All this is relatively easy if approached correctly and wisely. Do not demand more from your child than he can do - do not harm. Make it a rule: do not rush things, but gently push for further development. Only in this way will your baby develop correctly and in accordance with his own program, laid down from birth.
Video: how to teach a child to sit