How to prepare your baby for. How to prepare your baby for the arrival of a second child

Hello Ludmila. I would like to ask you to help me with this issue. I am on maternity leave, my baby will soon be 2 years old. Yesterday a colleague called and told me that my immediate boss was going to retire in three months. Therefore, if I go to work by then, I can get her position and a salary increase.

The offer is certainly very tempting. However, I am worried that in this case I will have to send my daughter to kindergarten. Is she too small for that? Can she get used to the new changes? Are there any good tips on how to prepare your child for kindergarten? Or is it better to abandon this idea altogether and wait the prescribed three years until the decree ends?

Problems of adaptation of the child in kindergarten

It is very good that you are thinking about such a question and are not in a hurry to solve your career affairs. The admission of a child to kindergarten is associated with certain psychological difficulties. To begin with, let's figure out what kind of problems and for what reason a baby may have in a preschool institution.

The first few weeks of attending kindergarten are called the adjustment period. At this time, the child adapts and gets used to the new conditions in his life. Among the main changes are:

• there are no relatives nearby, especially mothers;
• the baby is given less personal attention;
• significantly expanded the circle of communication;
• the daily routine has changed;
• it is necessary to obey the instructions of an unfamiliar aunt;
• most self-service activities must be performed independently;
• have to build new relationships.

Coping with such changes is not easy. This process requires a lot of mental energy and physical strength of the body. Against this background, there may be failures in the operation of systems or organs, changes in behavior. Parents may notice some of these symptoms in their child:

1. Appetite has worsened;
2. Sleep was disturbed (read the article on the topic: Why do children sleep poorly?>>>);
3. Decreased immunity (important article: How to protect a child from a cold?>>>);
4. Closeness appears;
5. Motor activity is disturbed;
6. Emotional instability is observed;
7. There is a refusal to perform self-service activities (you will be interested in: How to develop independence in a child?>>>).

In this case, it is important to understand that such changes are not the usual whims of the baby. He needs the help of adults and it will be much better if parents learn in advance about ways to help the child adapt to kindergarten.

And within the framework of this article, I will draw your attention to the most important points

Learn to do without mom

As your child grows up and becomes more independent, begin to teach him to be under the supervision of other adults. It can be the closest relatives of the baby: father, grandmother, aunt. Prepare the necessary things for the care of the child, if necessary, provide some instructions for handling him. And then for a couple of hours you can go about your business.

You should not worry too much, leaving the baby without your care - everything will be all right with him. He is no longer a helpless baby, and your loved ones are experienced enough to cope with their task. But the child will gradually get used to the fact that the mother does not have to be around all the time. He will understand that he is no longer a single whole with his mother, but must and can become more and more independent.

Teach self care skills

Another important tip on how to properly prepare a child for kindergarten concerns the formation of self-care skills in him.

• You need to teach your baby to use a spoon, drink from a cup, ask to go to the toilet;
• Show him how to dress properly, put away toys, wash hands.

The older your toddler gets, the more he should be able to. This learning process is quite lengthy and requires patience, but a child in kindergarten will feel more confident and avoid many unpleasant situations.

In addition, there is another side to this problem that needs to be kept in mind. Make sure that the items your baby uses are as convenient as possible for him:

1. Buy children's dishes;
2. Choose clothes with buttons, shoes with Velcro or elastic bands, etc.;
3. Attach bright stickers to your child's personal belongings to make it easier for him to find them or to find out which foot to put on the boot, where the front of the T-shirt is, etc.

Fit in Kindergarten

To make it easier for the baby to get used to kindergarten, be sure to take care of accustoming him to the correct daily routine. Ask in advance what time breakfast, lunch and afternoon tea will take place, when the daytime sleep should be.

I especially want to focus on this moment those mothers who are interested in the question of how to prepare a child for kindergarten at 1.5 years old.

At this age, the child's behavior is difficult to control in an arbitrary mode. If he does not develop the habit of falling asleep at a certain hour, then this can be a serious problem for the educators in the group. Yes, and the baby will become lethargic and capricious when the usual time for sleep comes.

• If the child has difficulty falling asleep;
• It is difficult for you to maintain the correct daily routine;
• And in the evening, putting the child to bed drags on for hours, then listen to the online seminar How to quickly put the child to sleep >>>.

It would not be superfluous to ask about the composition of the kindergarten menu. Include most of the dishes that the child will try in the diet at home.

Develop speech

Tips on how to prepare a two-year-old child for kindergarten talk about the need to pay attention to the development of his speech. At this age, he should already learn to correctly formulate remarks and even sentences. It is necessary that he was able to communicate about his needs, well-being.

Keep an eye on the expansion of the vocabulary of the baby. Introduce him to words of courtesy.

Learn to communicate with peers

It is imperative that recommendations on how to prepare a child for kindergarten indicate the importance of teaching him to communicate with peers. This question is not very relevant for children under 3 years old. But already at a later age, you should show the baby how to get to know each other, communicate with other guys. Teach him to share toys, to resolve some conflict situations.

It is very useful before the child starts attending kindergarten, to go with him to the classes of the children's club or circle. Visit your friends often who also have children of similar age. Visit the playgrounds in the playrooms.

Talk about kindergarten

It is equally important to know how to psychologically prepare a child for kindergarten. Most often, the baby is frightened by the unknown when he finds himself in an unfamiliar environment and does not know what awaits him there.

1. To eliminate such a problem, it is recommended to tell the preschooler about kindergarten conditions in advance;
2. Choose a walking route so that it passes the kindergarten. Being nearby, pay the child's attention to the appearance, location, bright lines in the design of the building and territory;
3. Be sure to comment on the actions of staff and children if you see them in the yard (read the article on what to do if the Child is afraid of other children >>>);
4. On occasion, show your child pictures of children in kindergarten. Tell them what they can do there. Always point out that children in preschool are fun and interesting.

By the way, in the kindergarten preparation course, you will receive two of the best books for reading and discussing with your child as bonuses.

When people turn to me for advice from a psychologist on adapting to kindergarten, I recommend telling a child about kindergarten in the form of a fairy tale. Come up with a story featuring your favorite character or your little one's toy. Tell us about how he goes to a fabulous kindergarten, what friends he met there, etc. Encourage your child to write their own stories.

Important! Never scare a child by sending him to kindergarten as a punishment for some misconduct. Do not talk about strict (especially evil) teachers who will scold him.

play kindergarten

It is very useful to play with a child in kindergarten:

• Organize a kindergarten for dolls at home;
• Let the baby be in the role of a teacher or a preschooler;
• Make sure that his actions are correct, correct if he makes a mistake in something;
• The course of the game should always be played in a friendly manner;
• Pay attention to the child that there are certain rules in kindergarten and you can’t behave as you please.

Create a positive attitude

Talk to your child often about his imminent admission to kindergarten. Associate this with the fact that now he has become older and more independent, and you are very happy for him. Say you're proud of him. In the presence of the baby, tell your friends about this upcoming event.

Remember that preschool children perceive the world around them through the emotions of their parents.

1. The child will be happy to enter kindergarten if he feels your positive attitude. Therefore, it is important that you have no doubts about this matter;
2. Visit the kindergarten in advance, find out about the team working in it. Take an interest in the programs that are used for classes with children, the presence of additional opportunities for the development of their abilities.

Take care of your health

Quite often, you can hear parents complain that as soon as a child starts attending kindergarten, he is constantly sick. Unfortunately, in most cases, this is indeed the case. It is worth considering in advance how to prepare the child's immunity for kindergarten.

• Include foods rich in vitamins and minerals in your baby's diet. If necessary, give special nutritional complexes;

• Separately, I want to draw your attention to the fact that it is not recommended to do any vaccinations immediately before entering kindergarten. About 1.5 months should elapse between these events;
• It is also advised not to register the baby in the garden during periods of increased epidemiological danger.

And in conclusion, I want to say that the right time for a child to enter kindergarten can only be determined based on the characteristics of his character and state of health. The most optimal period is considered to be the age of 2.5 or 4 years, since it is recommended to avoid significant shocks during the three-year period of crisis for the child.

If your child has sufficient independence and the necessary communication skills, then she is quite ready for new changes in her life. However, keep in mind that at first you will have to take the baby to the garden for part of the day, and sometimes even leave her at home. So plan your exit to work in such a way that all these situations do not interfere with your work activities in any way. Good luck!

Some parents mistakenly believe that if the older child is still small, he does not need to be prepared for the appearance of the baby at all. They say they still don't understand anything. Of course, where the newborn came from, how to take care of him, or why he does not speak, the little one will not be able to understand, but the fact that the balance of power in the family has changed, and now he is not the center of the universe - he will understand this on the day of discharge from the hospital. If the baby is not prepared in advance, this event can turn into serious stress for him, neurotic disorders, depression and even physical ailment. And, in addition, there is a high probability of manifestation of jealousy on the part of the eldest. Moreover, it can be both innocent whims and tearfulness, as well as serious acts of aggression that are aimed at the baby. How can this be avoided? Explain and tell From the moment the mother's tummy is fairly rounded, start talking with the child about the changes that are coming in your family. Tell him in a language that he understands that a small baby lives inside, which will grow, grow, and then be born (which is why now you can’t sit and jump on mom’s stomach). Speak or play out with the help of toys the situation when the mother leaves for the hospital and returns with the baby - the first-born needs time to get used to the thought of separation. Talk more often about exactly how your life will change: how you will walk with a stroller, bathe a newborn in a small bath, rock him to sleep and sing songs. Ask if the older baby will allow him to play with his toys, will he let him lie down on his bed, and so on. If the baby categorically refuses to share, do not worry. Set this topic aside for a while, and then return to it again. Play “daughter-mother” with your child: give him a baby doll or a soft toy that can be spoon-fed and bottle-fed, rolled in a stroller and swaddled. Delegate authority Long before the birth, start trusting the care of the baby to close relatives. Let now sometimes his father, grandmother or grandfather walk with him, feed and bathe him. This will help both you and your firstborn to prepare for the period when you will have to pay a lot of attention to the baby. It is also useful to leave the baby with relatives for several hours: you will not only prepare him for a forced short separation, but also find time for yourself to rest or important things. But it’s better for mom to put the little one to sleep: these are the moments of intimacy, tenderness and communication, which in no case should be abandoned. Develop independence Many mothers, anticipating that the first-born will soon be deprived of attention, try to take care of him as much as possible. This is a mistake: in this case, when the baby appears, the eldest will only feel more strongly how he has been relegated to the background. Indeed, quite recently, his mother did not leave him a single step, and now she suddenly declares that he needs to eat or dress himself! It is more useful, on the contrary, to teach your child to be independent - it will be easier for him and you to adapt to a new situation when there are two children. This should be done as early as possible, not a month before the birth. Depending on the age of the older baby, teach him what he can do: use the potty, eat on his own, brush his teeth, dress. It’s even better if he helps you with the housework: wipe the dust, serve the dishes, load the laundry into the washing machine and other things. Teach patience With the advent of a newborn in the house, the first child one way or another will often hear: “Wait!”, “Later!”, “Not now!”. So that this does not injure the baby, teach him to wait in advance. Explain that you have urgent business, after which you will definitely make time for him. Do not run at the first call (unless, of course, there is no danger), do not break away from your studies. Calmly say, “Wait 5 minutes. I'll finish it and we'll play." And, of course, be sure to keep the promise. Remind of privileges It will be easier for the little one to come to terms with the appearance of a second crumb if he does not feel deprived. To do this, talk to him more often about his privileges and unique opportunities. Playing a construction set, riding a hill, getting a book from a shelf, watching cartoons, eating sweets, riding a bike, scooter or rides - only the firstborn can do all this and much more, but not the newborn. Develop fears The main cause of depression, neuroses and jealousy on the part of the first-born is the feeling that he was abandoned, thrown, that now he is no longer needed, because there is a new child in the family. Be sure to speak this topic with the baby, convince him that he will not become less necessary and important. Here are a few points worth talking about. 🌷 “I will go to the hospital and return from there with the baby. We will arrange a holiday, decorate the house with balloons and eat cake”; 🌷“When we have a little one, I will love you just the same, take you in my arms, play with you and put you to bed”; 🌷“I will put the baby in the stroller and accompany you to kindergarten / to classes / to the circle”; 🌷“When the baby is sleeping, we will draw, sculpt, make applications, read books”; 🌷“You are my main assistant. Will you help me feed, bathe and change the baby? What not to do Some words and actions of parents and relatives can, on the contrary, intimidate an older child, convince him that his life will become worse with the advent of a baby. 💜 No need to focus on the fact that the baby will use the clothes and things of the elder, say: "We will give the baby your bed and all your rattles." It would be much more correct to temporarily hide what will be inherited by the newborn. 💜 You should not pronounce any duties that the first-born will have with the advent of the youngest: “When our baby is born, you will have to dress and eat by yourself.” It is better to gradually accustom the little one to independence, as you would do, even if you were not expecting a second child. 💜 Do not inspire the child that his life will get worse: “I can’t play with you like that anymore, so enjoy it for now.” Especially often grandmothers sin with this, who sincerely sympathize with their eldest grandson and strive to completely take care of him: “Here a baby will be born to your mother, she will have no time to deal with you. And I won’t leave you, you are my favorite ... ". Tell grandparents that such words will only harm family relationships. 💜 For the same reason, psychologists do not recommend leaving the child for the night with grandparents - in this situation, the baby may feel abandoned in advance.

Almost any mother, expecting a second baby, asks questions - how not to offend and deprive children of love, how to share my love between two children, will I love the first less or will I love the second more, how to explain to the first child that now he not one, that now there are two of them and they will grow together?

Here are some simple and practical tips on how to prepare the first child for the arrival of the second baby in your life, which I have collected on the Internet.

Use them and the appearance of a new family member will be as painless as possible and least traumatic for the older child.

Do not hide from the child.

As soon as you find out about pregnancy - share the good news with your first child. Tell that your tummy is now a home for the baby, that the baby feels everything, hears and you can talk to him, that he is looking forward to meeting his family and his older brother / sister.

Make expecting a baby your shared event.

Talk with your child about the appearance of the baby, involve him in the preparation - go to the store together, choose an envelope, diapers, undershirts, hats and booties, bed linen and a crib. The baby still lives in your tummy, and you are already accustoming the older child to take care of the baby. Such preparation, no doubt, will contribute to the fact that not only you, but also the child will look forward to the appearance of a brother or sister. During such shopping, do not forget to buy something for the elder, so that the child does not have the feeling that this is all for the sake of the baby, but nothing for him!

Do not ask unnecessary questions and do not touch on topics that may never arise.

Don't ask, "Do you want a brother or sister?" after all, there is a high probability of getting the answer “No” and you hardly know what to do with this answer. You will have to convince the child, and out of childish harm he can defend his important opinion.

Also, you should not explain to the child “Do not be afraid, we will love you equally”, because the child is not afraid of anything yet - you will instill this fear in him by starting conversations in this vein. It is better to show by actions and words that you love him and that he is important to you.

Talk about how good it is to be a senior, but don't overdo it.

Tell how the child can take care of the baby with you and play with him, help you.

It is very important not to overdo it so that the child does not expect that the newly born baby will immediately become his best friend and main assistant in any games of the elder. Talk about what will really happen, do not promise what you cannot trust the child.

Pay attention to kids.

During the walk, pay attention to strollers, to small children, show photos of the child when he was still small.

Try not to make drastic changes in the life of the child on the eve of the birth of the baby.

Eviction from the parent's bed, relocation to a separate room, the start of attending a kindergarten, etc. drastic changes in the child's lifestyle. The child should not have unpleasant associations with the appearance of a new family member.

Warn the child about the need to travel to the hospital.

Tell your child in advance about the maternity hospital, why and when you will go there, when you will return.

Baby gift.

During discharge from the hospital, prepare a gift for the elder "from the younger." The eldest, and now he is already the eldest, the child will be pleased that even on such a day not all attention is focused on the crumbs, that they have not forgotten about him either, and that a brother or sister came to him for the first meeting with a gift.

If you expect guests to visit the baby, then also try to warn or ask to bring with you, albeit a tiny one, but a gift not only for the baby, but also for the older child, so that he does not feel unnecessary.

Don't force the child to love

Most importantly, do not force the child to love the baby or help you care for him. You need to cultivate the feeling of love for the baby in the older child from the first weeks of pregnancy and you should not tell the older one that he should love or take care of the younger one. Should not!

If with the advent of the baby there is no love, but there is rejection - accept it and try to slowly change the attitude of the older child to the younger. Listen carefully to his objections - he has the right to these objections, and by listening and discussing these things with the child, you show that his opinion is important to you.

Accept any help

Accept with gratitude any help that the older child is ready to give you in anticipation and in caring for the baby. The elder should feel that his participation is important and you need it. But don't force him to help. Try to make it interesting for the child.

As soon as the child has reached the age of one and a half years, it is time to prepare for the first visit to kindergarten. The adaptation process presents a lot of difficulties for the baby and parents. All difficulties are temporary, and communication in a children's team, a variety of pastimes, walks and exciting activities in a playful way make a huge contribution to the life of a child and provide him with something that even the most loving parents are not always able to give him.

It is necessary to accept kindergarten as one of the stages that you need to go through with the baby - as comfortable as possible and without harm to the psyche, and our advice to parents on how to prepare a child for kindergarten will help you with this.

How to prepare your child for kindergarten: tips for parents

The task of parents is to strengthen children's immunity, which provides reliable protection against infections. Most children are prone to frequent illness in the first months of attending kindergarten. This is how the body is hardened, and its defense systems are trained to resist viruses. Following simple recommendations will help reduce the frequency and facilitate the course of diseases.

• Proper nutrition, rich in vitamins and microelements, will help create a natural protective barrier in the child's body. The daily diet of the baby should include dairy and meat products, cereals, vegetables, fruits.
• General health is promoted by daily walks lasting at least three hours. Usually children walk twice a day: 1.5–2 hours in the morning and 1.5–2 hours after daytime sleep.
• A couple of months before the first trip to the garden, you can start hardening by bathing in water, the temperature of which drops by a degree every day. In this case, the example of parents is important.
• Walking barefoot is useful - it prevents flat feet.
• It is necessary to offer the child drinks with a high content of vitamin C. These include tea with raspberries or lemon, a decoction of rose hips.
• Before visiting the garden, it does not hurt to take a course of taking vitamins that are part of children's multivitamin complexes, fish oil.

Emotional preparation of a child for kindergarten

The first trip to kindergarten is a lot of stress for a child, which is provoked by a new environment, unfamiliar children and adults, the absence of a mother and the feeling of insecurity associated with this. Psychological preparation will help to avoid many troubles. So, you should tell the child in advance about what is ahead of him, about his future group. The conversation should be conducted in a positive and friendly manner and contain stories about new friends, a lot of toys, exciting games. It is necessary to tell the baby that in the kindergarten he will be able to sing a lot, draw, dance, sculpt from plasticine. A visit to a kindergarten should be covered with a halo of positive emotions - in this case, the child will be happy to look forward to the event.

Before leaving the baby in the group for the first time, the mother must certainly inform him that she will come for him in the evening. You can not threaten the child to leave him there permanently for disobedience or bad behavior. This will connect the kindergarten with punishment, and the task of the parents is that the baby fell in love with the place of his daytime stay.

Children from three years of age should be explained the limits of permissibility. It is necessary to tell what can or cannot be done, and what must be done. The child must be given to understand that with any question he can contact the teacher. It is important to tell the kid about ways to start communicating with the guys from the group, invite them to play. Toys should be left at home.

Necessary skills of the child before the first trip to kindergarten

Usually children are sent to kindergarten at the age of two. By this time, the child should have formed certain skills:

• Self-catering with a spoon and fork. It is important for parents to teach the child to eat in order to be able to satisfy hunger. After three years, a sense of tidiness and observance of other rules for eating should be instilled (do not talk at the table, do not fill your mouth with food, etc.).
• The ability to go to the potty and ask to go to the toilet. Otherwise, you will need to bring the required number of diapers to the kindergarten. Children from three years old need to be able to use toilet paper.
• Compliance with simple hygiene rules - self-washing hands after a walk and before eating.
• Developed speech. The ability of the baby to talk and talk about everything that happens to him will greatly facilitate his stay in the garden.

Kindergarten is an unconditional part of the life of most children. Only parents are able to influence how their baby will go through a difficult path of adaptation to new conditions. We hope that our advice to parents will help prepare the child for kindergarten and the baby will overcome this new stage in life easily and painlessly.

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